The Good Life

Why am I even here?

The music is loud and passionate, it makes me feel so alive. But as soon as it stops, the empowerment I get from the steady beat is gone. I pop the champagne and the next moment my friends and I are laughing as though it is the best day of our lives. But as soon as we finish it, the self-discovery in my own happiness stops. I dance with all of my closest friends, it expresses my true desire to live in the most honest of actions. But as soon as I stop for a moment, all that remains is a desire without a purpose.

I’ve vaguely known of these conflicted emotions for years. Only now have they become real. The bright yellow and green lights hit my eyes, illuminating all the dance floors I have and will ever stand on. What was at one point invisible and unknowable became fully focused and certain. I am quite literally enlightened, having discovered, finally, what my life was missing.

I am here because living a good life is not left to the realm of the divine. What I did not realize is I already intimately knew the good. I merely refused to accept that simple fact. Nothing was ever missing, just ignored. The gaps of joy were nothing more than a feeling of guilt for seeing the starry and heavenly lights, feeling the party heartbeat and tasting the best champagne in the world.

Is this vanity? If it is, it’s about time I’ve looked for more.